5 Signs of Social Anxiety in Extroverts
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“I wish there was a service where people with social anxiety could have extroverts make phone calls for them,” said an Instagram post.
First of all, same. But second of all, not everyone with social anxiety is an introvert, and not every introvert has social anxiety.
Remember, an introvert replenishes energy by being alone, regardless of how much they may enjoy socializing. An extrovert replenishes energy by socializing, regardless of how much they may enjoy solo activities.
If we assume that extroverts never experience social anxiety, we avoid taking their needs seriously.
A few days ago, we talked about some signs of depression in introverts. Now, let’s take a look at some signs of social anxiety in extroverts.
What is Social Anxiety?
Before we talk about the signs of social anxiety in extroverts, let’s talk about what social anxiety is. The technical definition of social anxiety is “fear of being judged.” This fear can make people avoid social situations. It’s often less about the socialization itself and more about the (perceived) result.
For extroverts, social anxiety may be extra tough. If they soothe their fear by avoiding social situations, they don’t meet their energy needs. If they prioritize their energy needs, they’re forced to face their fear.
5 Signs of Extrovert Social Anxiety
Social anxiety in an extrovert can look a lot like social anxiety in an introvert. However, there are also some unique signs of social anxiety in extroverts.
Important note: I am not an extrovert, so I can’t speak from personal experience. This list comes from patterns that I’ve gathered from message boards, social media posts, and talking to extroverted friends. I always try to put empathy first, but the best person to explain what it’s like to be an extrovert with social anxiety is an extrovert with social anxiety.
1. Finding Safety in Numbers
When an introvert has social anxiety, they may take refuge by staying home. Many extroverts, however, describe finding safety in numbers. They may crave lots of social time with close friends, but anxiety shows up whenever they feel separated from the “herd.” For example, they may feel terrified of situations that make them stand out, like:
getting up to get a utensil or napkin
ordering their own food
asking for help
solving a math problem in front of a class
2. Feelings of Being Under a Spotlight
For both introverts and extroverts, social anxiety makes people feel like they’re under a spotlight. Those with social anxiety feel as if their every move is being judged. They may obsess over details like what they’re wearing or how they’re speaking. They may also feel as if everybody else is scrutinizing these details, too.
Again, this impacts introverts, too. That said, extroverts may face these feelings more often because they might seek more opportunities to socialize.
3. Experiencing “Non-Social” Social Anxiety
Social anxiety doesn’t just show up when one is socializing. It often shows up when one is alone. This distinction can help extroverts understand what they’re experiencing.
For example, imagine buying clothes online. You might be alone at that moment, but you can still make decisions based on social fears. Maybe you don’t buy a hat or shirt that you really want because you worry that it’ll make you stand out.
Or maybe you struggle to make phone calls or send emails. You’re by yourself, but you scrutinize all of your words to avoid being judged. You might also overthink what you post on social media.
4. Self-Censorship
An extrovert with social anxiety may feel energized while out and about, but they might not feel like they can be their full self. They sometimes hide parts of themselves that they think people may judge. Some examples include:
not admitting to liking a band, show, or movie that other group members dislike
pretending to enjoy music or other media that other group members enjoy
pretending to understand something rather than asking for clarification
The amount of socializing may energize them, but the type of socializing is carefully tailored to avoid anxiety. If you deal with this situation, you may often feel seen but not known.
5. Dissatisfaction Whether Alone or with Others
Some extroverts describe feeling dissatisfied whether alone or with others. With social anxiety, an extrovert might feel as if none of their needs are ever fully met. Being alone makes them feel bored and sluggish, but being in public makes them want to go home to escape.
Final Words
When it comes to personality and mental health, people like simple categories and easy explanations. Our brains enjoy shortcuts. This makes things simpler for us, but it also makes it hard to notice other people’s struggles.
Whether you’re extroverted or introverted, your difficulties are valid. Seeking resources, like talking to a therapist, can help.